I just love me some Babylon Bee!
Sep 24, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
When Donald Trump recently promised that, if elected, he would abolish the Department of Education, Democrats pounced on the statement, foretelling an apocalyptic hellscape of the uneducated should the federal government no longer oversee education in the United States.
Through extensive investigation, The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of far-reaching and terrifying consequences of abolishing the Department of Education:
1. Fewer tax dollars taken by the federal government: You may now be forced to take your kids to Disneyland this year.
2. Children will only learn about two of the seventy-two genders: Unless they live in California, then they can still learn about all seventy-two genders AND how to smoke pot out of a banana peel all before second grade.
3. Child might be left behind: This has not happened once since it was declared America declared NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND.
4. Kids will learn how to do math the actual way instead of with those weird number lines: Imagine the world returning to actual mathematics instead of the mysterious, arcane processes of Common Core.
5. No one to write "this page intentionally left blank" on intentionally left blank pages on standardized tests: States won't be able to handle this level of complicated bureaucratic finagling.
6. 4,400 unelected government bureaucrats will have to find new jobs as CNN correspondents: Nothing is more terrifying than adding more CNN correspondents.
7. Kids will never learn how to do anything: Just like how it was before 1979 when the Department of Education was founded.
8. Decentralizing government power is always a bad idea: In such a dangerous scenario, freedom may ensue.
9. No one will D.A.R.E. to keep kids off drugs: Illicit drugs will run rampant through American schools which is totally different from the way things are now.
10. 2+2 will equal 4 again: Back to the horrific, oppressive days of the 1950s we go!
An executive order will send the message to the States that they need to act now. We have to stand up for our parents and fight for America’s families.
Today at 6pm ET, I’m hosting a watch party for my new TEDx talk. Please join me virtually (although you can watch at any time, the concentrated traffic boosts the algorithm.) Beolow is the video link.
Please don’t forget to like, comment, and share it! Then join me for a live on IG, YT, or FB afterwards!
NOTE: IG is being finnicky and not letting me in right now… This may go live on X, YT, and FB, instead!
I'm so excited I can hardly believe it! I finally fully realized one of my long-time goals and I'm thrilled to be able to share it with you this Sunday at 6pm EST!
Of course, it's about education:
Do Schools Kill Curiosity: The Forgotten Secret
I'm so grateful to the amazing organizing team @MacyBaxi Minesh Baxi @KimberlyBaxi that put on TEDxLakeMary and to the very talented speaker coach Tanja Diamond who did such a superb job on the event and prepping us speakers! Thank you for making this event and our deeply personal ideas such a huge success. The videos turned out so beautiful!
I am asking everyone to join me online (at your own computers/phones/etc) at 6pm EST Sunday night, because the concentrated traffic will encourage the AI to promote the talk much further. Please invite friends.
Also, I'll encourage you to view the entire playlist - the speakers are all experts on a diverse array of topics, and excellent. Well worth watching.
Finally, I'd be so appreciative if you could view my ...
They mocked Elon Musk for bringing his son to Senate meetings—but I saw something deeper. In my latest article published by Blaze Media, I expose the rot in our education system and make the case for why parents must reclaim their rightful role. This isn’t just about Musk. It’s about all of us. Read it—and let it sink in.
